In Denial...

I can't believe that in a few days my first baby boy will be seven years old!

Seven sounds SO much older than six.

I really can't believe it's been seven years since I was was holding our big baby (he weighed 9lbs 110z) in my arms.He has grown up so fast! I thought I would share some of the things he is interested in now,and what he enjoys doing.

Jackson you are almost seven years old.I say almost because you are still six for two days,and I don't want to rush it!

You love being the leader of your siblings.Your little brothers love you,and want to do everything you do! You love to play outside in the dirt.You like to "invent" things,building things out of toys we have around the house.You love to dress up in your dragon/dinosaur costume.You still love Toy Story,and Legos.You have a tender heart.You have almost mastered riding without training wheels,but you like your sisters bike better as it's not as heavy as your bike.You are not such a fan of school,and it's been a struggle for you.But,you are SO smart,and it's coming along. We are so thankful for you Jackson,you are God's Gracious Gift to us.We love you,and I can hardly believe I'm saying "Happy 7th Birthday!".

For those of you who don't know I thought I would share Jackson's "Birth Story".I know,I'm a little behind...better to post this now...then when he is 20! :)

I had a great pregnancy with Jackson.Was never sick,felt great! His due date was November 15th. By the last two weeks of his pregnancy,I felt terrible.I felt huge,like a whale huge.I was swollen all over. To say I was miserable would be an understatement.

On November 13th my labor began. I had a mid-wife,and decided to have a home birth.

My mom had my brothers at a birthing center,and we live in Amish Country,so it's not uncommon around our parts at all.

My mid-wife was busy delivering another baby,and told us to keep in touch with her via phone if my contractions got closer together.

My mom came over,and the midwife arrived in the morning of the 14th.I think.Mind you,I was in labor,a hard labor.And don't remember much.At.All. From this time!

After doing everything humanly possible to make labor progress nothing was working.I'd dilate up,then go back down. After doing that for what seemed like an eternity.We decided to head to the hospital late in the evening of the 14th.

The nurses and doctors checked me out,said I was doing okay,and had be begin labor in the hospital. Well,same thing began happening. They gave me medications to speed up the process.That just made the entire process more horrific as I began to see things,shake,and go into sweaty panic attacks. My husband and my mom and my mother in law were my rocks.Because I was beyond exhausted,scared half to death,and medicated to the extremes!After being there for a while,they decided to perform an ultrasound.

One of the nurses slipped and said "HE looks perfect,we just can't figure out why HE won't come out!"....Our "it" baby,was a HE! Though none of our family heard that,so we kept it to ourselves,we still wanted them to be surprised!

According to the ultrasound our baby was about 6-7 lbs.And around 18-19 inches long.No one could figure out why I was not progressing like I should.

I was then offered to have a c-section,or I could continue trying to go natural for a few more hours. I begged my mom for advice and wisdom,and my mother in law too.We did not know what to do.Both of our mom's said "I think you've done all you can do". As we were trying to make up our minds on what to do,our baby's heart rate began to drop. A.Lot. and Fast.

Our minds were made for us! I was wisked down to the OR,prepped in record time.We were told they could have our baby out in less than three minutes if needed.My first thought was "wow,thats fast,does that mean I'm going to look like I was in a sword fight,and lost?".Doctors assured me I would be put back together just fine.

I will never in my life forget how cold that OR was,and how everyone was rushing around,and seeing my husband in the hallway gearing up.

I was shaking in fear. I just began whispering "Jesus"...because that was ALL I could say.A peace began to come over me,and I know it was the Lord.Then my husband was able to come in,and I've never held someones hand so hard in my life!Even he said he thought all the blood was gone from his hand. My sweet husband was so comforting,praying in my ear,whispering calm over me.I don't know what I would have done without him.

While the doctors were working they were talking with me,telling me what was going on,then I will never forget ...the doctor holding our baby up,and saying "OH MY WORD"..."HE IS HUGE"!

Jackson was wisked over to the nurses table,he was not breathing well.Everything was quiet as they began working on him.Then I heard the most wonderful noise,a little whimper of a wine.

I bawled.The nurses assured us he would be okay,but needed some help breathing.Brandon stayed with me for a little while,and then went to be with our baby boy while I was being put back together. To say I felt like humpty dumpty would be as close to a description as possible!

By the time I had my c-section,I had been in labor for approx. 56 hours. I was exhausted.I was taken to recovery where I tried to sleep.But,this was in the days when everyone in the hospital was taken to the same room to recover.See,our OB floor at the hospital was under-construction.

I laid there dozing in and out,while some old man was hollering next to me. Was not pleasant.I just wanted to hold my baby and be with my husband and family.I am SO glad this is NOT the practice anymore at the hospital. I have much fonder memories of the recovery room after my other three children were born.

Our precious BIG baby boy weighed in at 9lbs 11oz,and was 21 and 1/2 inches long. He was in the NICU on oxygen,and he took up practically the entire bassinet he was laying in. I was wheeled by him and was able to touch his little toes.He was beautiful,though I could tell just by looking at him he seemed exhausted too!

We had not named him yet,because I wanted to see what he looked like before we named him! We had two names picked out, Bowen Lee or Jackson Lee. After seeing him face to face,I looked at my husband,and we both said "he is a Jackson". My husbands Grandfather,who has since gone home to be with the Lord,was named Jack. And we really wanted to honor him.It was so fun to tell all the family his name!

The ultrasound had been WAY off,and no one would have thought that I,of all people would have an almost ten pound baby. I'm five foot five,and when not pregnant am a size 1. Hindsight,I know why I was miserable.I was ALL baby! And that baby was WAY too big to be born naturally from me. But,at the time,I had to deal with a lot of "what if's",and disappointment that I would most likely have to have c-sections from then on.

I spent five days in the hospital recovering.(ha,it's nearly impossible to "recover in the hospital")Jackson was out of the NICU after a few days,and those moments bonding with him were wonderful. He was such a sweet and happy baby. We had many wonderful friends and family visit us.

When I was released I went home to recover,and the first day I was home,I slept all day,all night,and into the next day.I've never slept that long in my life.Then again,I've never been in labor for three days since then! My sweet husband set up a schedule so I would have someone with me for the first two weeks home.Man,that was incredible!!! My mom,and mother in law took turns.And my sister in law helped when she could.

Jackson slept through the night at about two weeks old.He was jaundice when we brought him home,looked like we'd been to hawaii to have him on a beach or something! So,some home health care nurses were sent out for a few weeks to check on him.Nursing him around the clock seemed to be the trick though,and he was "bad spray tan job skin" free after a few weeks.

I am so thankful for our Jackson.God used him to change me in so many ways. Shaping me and molding me through Jackson's life. I might be in denial about our Jackson turning 7,but I could never deny that Jackson is Gods Gift to Us.

We love you Jackson Lee!