"Indeed the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
Don't be Afraid.
You are worth more than many sparrows" Luke 12:7
Then again,when are we not?!
Or at least that's how our lives have "rolled" for a long while now.
Though it's not easy,God sure has stretched me and molded me when our finances have been the thinnest.
Tonight,was one of those moments that I want to record. Quickly jot down the events to remind myself on days when I'm struggling to trust God will provide.
It's been tight,but then again,it's been tight for everyone this year. I was reminded of how unsure our lives are,when a friend told me her husband was informed he would no longer have a job,yesterday. I know all too well how she feels.But,my heart aches for her,at Christmas time,talk about poor timing. But,then again,God's timing is perfect. And He reminded me of that today in a big way!
Don't mis understand me,my husband is one of the hardest working men I know. And, he's innovative,and try's to supplement our income in various ways. And we have all we need,and have never gone without what we need,food and shelter.
So,back to God showing me how pathetic my self centered thinking really was.
It's Christmas,no news flash there. And I was really wanting to get into the Christmas spirit. But,it's been hard for me this year. With everything that is going on with Elliott,and simply just feeling drained. People asking "are you finished with your Christmas Shopping". And me thinking to myself..."Shop with what?"....
Again.Pathetic.I know.
Side note: Our kids have a.lot. They really do not need anything. But,like any mom,I really wanted to be able to get each of them something. I'm not writing this to get your sympathy,or get my kids more stuff. Please,do not feel the need to do that. Like I said,they have plenty!
I've not had a spare dime to shop for anything,or anyone. Our van needs breaks,like,really bad. And I could not justify buying the kids a bunch of presents,and then risk their safety driving around in a van that screeches to a halt. My plan,was to keep it simple. Buy candy for their stockings, a few trinkets from the dollar store, and make them each some pj's from some extra material I have laying around. But,I was feeling bummed. Mostly for them.
Truly,I realize now how dumb that is. How self centered,and pathetic.
But,I'm being honest. That is how I felt.
Don't think my kids would not be getting anything this Christmas, my parents have been stock piling for months now. My mom has to hide the gifts from my Dad,cause he would have already given them everything! :) Their motto as Grandparents "we like to put the GRAND in Grandparents".
So,it's not that. I just wanted to give them each a little something special. From mommy and daddy. And I did not have a clue as to how we were going to make it possible,but I DID keep on praying (and then I'd fret a little,and begin to panic that we would be scaring them for life,then pray some more).
Then,I went by the gym tonight to pick up a few things. When,to my surprise was a gift from the boosters,aka:the awesome parents of the girls I coached.
A gift card to target.
With enough money on it,to get each of the kids a special present for Christmas. What a humbling moment.
God knows our heart desires. Here I was worrying,and disappointed, and He already had provided. The gift card had been sitting in my box for days,and I did not realize it!
I had so much fun walking the isles of target deciding what to get each of them. Have no fear,they each are getting a very special present. Something I know each of them will love. And I will love seeing the joy and excitement on their faces!
And,I'll frame those pictures,and write a note at the bottom to myself...
that simply states "God Provides".
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