Monday, October 15, 2012

Running thoughts...

I really enjoy running. It's one thing that I can do by myself, I can think, pray, and enjoy nature around me. (A practically impossible task if you have four little's around you all day long.)

I don't run everyday, and I don't obsess over it. When I get the chance, I run. I've had many thoughts lately while running. Sometimes just pouring out to God my heart ache. I think about how I can share that with others. There is such a fine line between sharing openly and honestly about what God is doing in your life, and not distracting from just that. 

 A dear friend shared with me how she would like to be honest about her past experiences on her blog, and I could so relate. It's hard to share honestly, and openly. Without upsetting those close to you, because, lets face it. Not all things "Honest" are pretty. But, God can and does make them beautiful in time. And it's when you have that perspective that you really want to share it with others, to give them hope. I have seen God take ugly situations, down right evil things, and use them for His Glory. I believe that is what can give others hope. It gives me hope! 

The past few years have been So.Hard. Just the other day, I broke down. Again. Tears would not stop.

I literally walked outside to take the trash out,turned around and ran. I ran hard, and long.(Don't worry, Daddy was home with the children)

I had thoughts running through my mind. And the one lie that Satan often likes to feed me is:

"Why does EVERYTHING have to be SO HARD!". 

It's easy to compare your life to others, and think about how it seems like other people just have life so easy. Or so it appears. But, the more I ran through that thought (no pun intended), I realized what a huge lie from Satan that really is.

Why should it not be hard? I mean, the good things in life, are worth fighting for. And these trials, just give me a small glimpse of the suffering Christ went through on the cross, for me. It also makes me more aware of other people's suffering. Makes me love others, and have more compassion.

I won't lie and say that everything after that run was rainbows and unicorns, or I'd found the pot'o'gold and life was magical. 

It's still hard.

It's daily, hourly, minute by minute renewing my mind. Putting off the bad thoughts, and renewing my thoughts.

With these Truth's:

I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 

Abide: To wait for
To endure without yielding
To bear patiently
To accept without objection
To remain stable or fixed in a state
To continue in a place
Synonyms: Stay, continue, bear

Why should we abide? What is God's promise?

11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

He will bring joy. Out of our suffering. Joy will come. And not just a little, but FULL! 

Later in the verse he talks about loving others. Interesting that producing fruit, bearing and abiding, goes hand in hand with loving others. It's when we focus on others, that our needs and problems don't seem so big. 

While in the PICU with our son I was made very aware of how our community is suffering. No one wants their child to be in the PICU. No one is prepared for their child to be there. I saw pain and suffering, in third world countries, and had no idea that it could exist in the same way in my own local Children's Hospital PICU. My heart aches, and broke for so many other Mamma's who are waiting by their babies bed sides. Wearing the same clothes for days,one mother had her child's vomit all over her shirt, for three days I saw this woman. No clothes to change into, no family close by, no car as they had traveled hours via ambulance. No phone charger, and no way to make a long distance call. No money for food,who thinks to grab your wallet in an emergency? As I talked to nurses, this is not an uncommon occurrence. Actually, it happens every day. I am working now to make changes. I'd appreciate your prayers as I work to raise awareness, and rally the community to make a difference for others, in their time of need. I would so appreciate your prayers as I take on this project.

And there is a few of my Running Thoughts lately.

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." 
John 15:12

1 comment:

Leah Raisingbushs said...

That's wonderful that you are working to make changes.
We are donating some personal care items to the hospital that Ezra stayed a week in back in September. I saw so many other families like you spoke of. We had a lot going on in our family during that week and I said many times that I couldnt imagine not having extended family or support to help us with the other kids & to bring us items we had not brought since we didn't realize it would be a longer stay.