Monday, February 13, 2012 we know it.

What a week we've had. I've had many not so good moments. But,thankfully. The good moments,have
Elliott showing me his bat man guy while we were playing. On a good day.

Elliott sucking his thumb,while Mamma holds him. On a not so good day.

Elliott had his appointment with his neurologist at the children's hospital. I meant to write and update on this earlier. But, I've been processing, and navigating. 

As I was driving in to the parking garage at the children"s hospital, my eye caught a mom driving out. She was crying, there was a car seat in the back of her car. My heart sank. That is the reality I was driving into. That could be me. I wanted to stop the car, jump out and hug her. I wanted to not be going in. But we did. It went very well. His Dr. was quite thorough. Spent over an hour with us. She said many things, and was telling me all of the possibilities of his symptoms. I was there in body, but my mind was racing out of the room. Wanting all of this to be a bad dream. He had labs scheduled for the next day. Has another EEG to endure. And a MRI. She wants to rule out any brain development abnormalities, or tumors. I heard her say that, but I to this moment can't believe she did. I don't want to believe it. Refuse to until we know other wise. Elliott was so good, and brave. It helped that it's a children's hospital. There was a dog theme throughout. He loved that. We even got to pet and play with a therapy dog. They gave him a sucker, and yet another sticker. I think he's been given a couple hundred of them. He's not so thrilled about them anymore. After the appointment, I treated him to chick-fil-a. His favorite. I sat there, watching my little boy play in the play place with the other children. Mom's sitting chatting. And the reality of everything that's been going on waved over me. Like a heavy fog, not being able to know what is ahead of us. It was as if time stood still. I've never felt so numb, and yet so present. I loved our lunch together. I loved how he came up to me and said "Mamma, I met a new friend. I told him my name! I used my words Mamma!" . My heart swelled. In that frozen moment of time, he was a happy, normal child. Making friends. Playing. Those moments are few as of late, and man it was wonderful to bask in it. Just enjoying the moment, and the view up close. It's so close. So close to my heart, it hurts, a lot. I know God is weaving together a beautiful tapestry. And one day, we will be able to step back,and see it all. It's just that right now, we are far to close,and not enough threads in to His pattern. All I gotta say is it's going to be one rockin' tapestry! 

 So, we wait. Trusting God with the health and well being of our precious boy. Knowing His ways are perfect. Clinging to His words of comfort. And listening to this song. over. and over.

Our Sweet Riley. And a few. err. Many pictures I've taken lately of him. 
 caught using scissors,in his sisters room. So,I took a picture. He was using them correctly.;)
 Melt my heart. He's so ornery.
 and so sweet.
 and so silly.
 and goofy.
 and precious.
 and colors with mittens on. Yea, that's how cold it is here. kidding.
 and adorable.

  Yes. I'm still in denial. He's growing entirely too fast. Oh how I love him. He's our ray of sunshine and joy. Making me smile with his many faces. Stopping my heart with his fearlessness. Wanting to do everything his big brothers and sister do. He's my baby. Forever. And this profile picture.

Jackson and Clara have been doing school, playing with friends, and loving the little bits of snow we have gotten. Very.little.bits.
 Clara needed new shoes, and God provided! Found a pair in new condition at a local resale shop!

 Chalk board,we write the date everyday.

 Trio "time machine"
 Sweet girl
 LOOK! It's BLUE skies! View out our window in the school room.
 Doing school,while listening to tunes. 

We thank you all for your prayers. There is a job possibility for Brandon this week, we are praying it works out! And, I'm quite busy doing pictures this coming week. God is good. All the time. Have a blessed week. We will let you know the results of Elliott's tests, when we know them.

1 comment:

lcranfill said...

Bethany, I know we don't know each other really well, but I want you to know that I put Elliott and your family on my prayer list and I've been praying for you all every morning. My heart goes out to you and your family. I love that you are trusting in God for your comfort and your strength. Do not give up hope!
--Lori Cranfill