Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Hurry up and wait.

Nothing has really changed for Elliott. We head to Atlanta to Emory Children's Hospital on Friday. It can't come soon enough, as he has been pretty miserable. The Rash gets worse, then will get better,usually dictated by what his temperature is. He complains his bones hurt. Last night I heard him whimpering in his sleep. When you ask him what hurts he points to his joints, like knees, elbows,etc or says his head hurts (then I know it's a fever). Tylenol, Motrin and Benadryl at night keep him comfortable. I've let myself research, and study up on what we could be facing. I need time to process, I like to be educated before I'm asked to make decisions. We were told to write out all of our questions. I've been working on that.
Basically, it's the whole "Hurry up, and wait."

Like hurry and get all of his medical documents to Atlanta, yes. Every document ever, they needed it. That took a few days.

Then the "Call us right back" message....and when you do your put on hold for forever.

It's been rough. We are ready for answers. I've accepted the reality of our situation, and am ready to tackle it head on.
In the meantime, we are staying busy with anything we can think of. The weather has been soooooo beautiful here. I'm loving that it's September and still 80+ degrees. This southern girl missed the warmth. We've been on walks or bike rides every day. Elliott usually opts to ride in the stroller or wagon. He gets tired easily. He tried to ride his bike yesterday, made it about a block, and couldn't do it. That was sad, he loves riding usually. Thankfully we had my sister in law with us, and she had the wagon.

We've made marshmallow people with toothpicks. They all loved that.
 (If  you want to see pictures, I have Instagram my name is bnyhle31...follow me there!)

Of course we've done school, and special projects with that.

Daddy brought home huge boxes from work last night, since our living room is empty, I decided to make the kids a huge box fort. He is bringing home more tonight. My sister in law and I have been planning up some sweet designs. It will be a magical box fort, with Christmas lights,and her amazing art work gracing the walls. Hey, when your stuck at home, you gotta do SOMETHING!
(What I'm thinking)
We are going to have the most rockin' box fort ever. It takes me back to my childhood. My dear friends Dad made them box forts in their basement. But, they were not your average box fort. Oh no! He designed amazing castles with drawbridge doors,and our own little rooms, with door knobs. Or a two story box maze. They were fabulous. We dressed up in petty coats and were princess' one minute, and the next we were secret spies. I want to create that for my children, and can't wait to get started on the design tonight!
We visited a church down the road on Sunday. It was nice, the kids liked it. The pastor preached a great message. One of those where you sit there thinking "Am I the only one in here, cause I think your talking right to me". I thought for sure I'd start crying when I heard the intro to the last praise and worship song. But I didn't. I was surprised by that. I'd say my emotional state as of late has been "numb". Too raw to cry. I'm thankful I didn't loose it, as we had all the kids sitting with us in the pew. We slipped out the church, not too many people stopping to talk to us. That's a hard reality. We are the new people, and it makes you miss your  church family. People hugging and laughing together, it's not that they weren't friendly. They were, but they have their friends, and wanted to catch up with them. And it makes you miss your friends that were your "pew buddies".

 It will happen, I know that. But, it's exhausting to "put yourself out there". I mean, due to our current state, (you know the  rather unbelievable reality) you don't want to put yourself out there to meet new people, because small talk just seems so dumb.Kind of like this:
And you don't want to dive into the realities of your life and tell them everything, cause your pretty sure they'd think you've got the plague and run. I mean, I probably would.

Well, I would have before.

 I am not the same person I was before all of these trials. I hope no one would hesitate to tell me whats really going on in their life, and know that I would not find it unbelievable, or jump to judgment.

I hope I'd say a: "Oh girlfriend, can I pray with you?". Hug their neck and just be there.

 I hope one day I can be that for someone in similar circumstances. Because when your in the trenches, you don't need people saying "they've been there", or "you'll survive", or "well if you would have done this, that wouldn't be happening".

You need someone to come along side, say a "Oh girlfriend" give you a hug and say "Let's pray together". Because really, only God can help. Friends are just there to point you to Him when it's so hard to see His hand, and love you through it. I mean, aren't we supposed to do that for them through life? So, if your reading this, and hurting, and life is hard, please know I want to say "Oh girl friend!". Throw my arms around your neck and ask if I can pray with you. And I want to LOVE you through it. Because we will get through it.
And then, I'd crank this up, and we'd dance till our bodies ached. Because this is the good life, and if we really think about it, what do we have to complain about?!?!


LLH Designs said...

Wow, Bethany. What really touches my heart is that in the midst of your own trial, you're already thinking about how you want to be there for someone in the future who is going through hard things. Praying for you on Friday. I encourage you to keep saying "I trust you, Jesus" as you approach that appointment. Hugs to you...Linsey

6HartsforHim said...

Thank you SO much! We covet your prayers on Friday. I just love your blog,your house is amazing! And I've got card envy,as a photographer,I'd love to see my work on one of your beautiful cards! Bless you for committing to pray for us,I will update Friday when we know for sure what Elliott's diagnoses is.~Bethany

Jeanne said...

I was just telling Liv this morning that you all have been so heavy on my mind and heart. Praying for you so much during this time....will be especially doing so on Friday. You are loved! Praying you can feel the presence and strong arms of the One who loves you more than any other!